Getting Ready

This is a simple breakdown of why girl's [stereotypically] take so long to get ready for dates, parties etc. Hopefully this helps out any guys out there who start doing their annual spring cleaning the moment their girlfriends say "just five more minutes!".

(note: this is just a satirical look at how women are stereotypically portrayed, please do not get offended by this if you are a female reader!)

1. The mental pre-planning
This happens subconsciously days or weeks before the actual event. We start thinking about what we will wear, whether our shoes will match, etc. It does more damage than it helps you, because it really just stresses you out more.

2. The night before
Never mind! We got our perfect outfit and game plan. It's cool, let's have a good night's sleep now. Tomorrow's going to be a beautiful day.

3. Just kidding
We wake up the next morning. The dress we picked out last night looks hideous now, what were we thinking? Freak out mode engaged, we try not to show it so we consult our friends on what different outfit we should wear.

4. Throughout the day
It's better now. We've settled on a few wearable things and everything is going to be fine. Let's start getting ready.

5. Shower time
 Step into the shower. Shampoo. Conditioner. Exfoliate. Soap, body scrub, body wash. Shave. Do a little soul-searching in the shower as well. Face cleanser, moisturizer, toner. Body lotion. Drying your hair the perfect way afterwards.

6. The inevitable accident
Whether it's a broken nail, a sudden breakout on the skin, or a rash on your arm, there will always be an unexpected "surprise" to get in the way. The last thing we want to do is let our dates know. So we go to Plan... B. Cover it up. In the most subtle way possible (which also means the longest way). All thoughts of how cute we looked with those shoes are gone. Will he notice that my ring finger has a chipped nail? He probably will. Time to do another coat of nail polish then.

7. "Almost Ready!"
Not really. But we have to assure our dates that we're almost ready, or what if they leave?

8. Wow.. that dress makes me look fat. (third time)
 Time to change it again. For reals. How come we didn't notice that before? Hmph.

9. Bag. Check. Perfume. Check. Keys...
Where are the keys? And the phone? Oh god, they're under the bed. But if we try getting it, it'll mess up my hair!

10. Ready!
Okay, we got the phone. and the keys. Show time! I hope he doesn't mind that I'm a little late.

11. One last look
I must say, my hair does look nice. Totally worth going to the hair salon for. My date looks nice too. A glance at the mirror. Oh god, is that a stray thread on my skirt? Oh no.

Obviously, this was just a joke post and I hope you guys don't take this seriously. :) Just felt like writing something like this today. Hopefully some of you realize that the "getting ready" part is a huge part that most girls look forward to, as weird as that might sound to you. Kind of like the buildup before the huge battle scene in a movie or video game. Kind of.

Have a great day!

Advice: Getting the right present for your girlfriend

Many guys have trouble deciding what to get for their girlfriend on a special day like their birthday or their one year anniversary. I can honestly say that girls have the same struggles too; I myself have been a victim of this!

For any female viewers, I'm afraid I can't give much advice on what to get your boyfriend, seeing as I usually choose to get random presents like lava lamps and Pokémon cards :P However, for any guys in the comments, feel free to talk about which kinds of presents you like!

Method 1: The easy, "materialistic" way

Not to say that all girls are easily swayed by diamonds and Prada bags, but we do have things that we have been eyeing for a while but have been a little out of our price range. If you're not sure what kinds of things your girlfriend wants at the moment, try leafing through any magazines she's left around or (secretly) look at which fashion websites she looks at online. It's not that hard- she'll probably be hinting at it weeks before her it's her birthday. The last thing you want to do is ask her girlfriends. They might give an honest answer, but they won't keep quiet about it no matter how much they promise they won't tell!

Method 2: Something you made

 Can you compose songs? Are you good at drawing? Think of the possibilities! Many girls would prefer a song you wrote just for her over a 500$ perfume bottle. It just shows that you took time to make something just for her, and it really touches us deeply :P Try and think of things she likes... if she likes dogs, you can make a clay model of you and her as dogs in love (Lady and the Tramp, anyone?)! Try and be creative. Girls love that. But (key point here!) make sure it's something that will last. Cooking her a lovely romantic dinner is a good idea, but she'll look back and realize she has nothing in the present to hold onto that day.

Method 3: A little something from the past

Girls love it when you remember stuff. However, I know that guys usually have problems remembering small details and usually remember the event itself (I'm not trying to be patronizing, it was proved in a study!). If you remember any special days, like your first date or the first time you met, that's great! Get a little something that reminds you guys of that day. For example, if it started snowing the first time you saw her, get her a snowflake necklace! I know it's hard to expect you guys to remember small things like that, so here's another idea (that most girls fall for): try to think of what your girlfriend reminded you of the first time you met. This is where your poetic/creative side needs to come in... Still confused? Okay. Say you get your girlfriend earrings with roses on them. When you see her puzzled expression, say something like, "That's for the first time I saw you. You reminded me so much of a beautiful red rose." Does it sound cheesy? Yes. But does it work? All the time! 

Method 4: Something of yours

This is only for girls you want to make a commitment to! Give her something that you treasure. It shows her that you are willing to give up something you really like for her. However, try to make it a bit better than something like your favorite hoodie or baseball cap. Presents for special days need to be special too!

That's all I have for you guys. Feel free to discuss any other types of presents you can get a beloved one in the comments!